Starting college or university is one of the most exciting and challenging times in a young person’s life. For many, the first steps into post-secondary life may also means the first time away from home. As a parent, it is a time to be proud of your son or daughter, and perhaps nervous as you watch them make their way to independence.

 This is a time of milestone for your child. The thrill of higher learning, the introduction to new and exciting friends, and the diversity of campus life are all intertwined with the challenges to adapting to a life without curfews, authority figures and restrictions. Exploring the new social scene also plays a big role in how many young people adapts to their new environment. And the fact is, this means increased access to alcohol and social drinking.

Throughout his or her life, you have played a key role in equipping them with the tools necessary to make the right decisions. This time should be no different. Finding a balance that will allow you to step back and at the same time stay involved in their decision-making is crucial.

The following areas are some helpful tips on how to help them get the most out of these exciting times in their lives.

Making the most out of education…

• Together with your son or daughter, set a clear and realistic goals for academic and personal development
• Encourage your son or daughter to become involved in the community and on campus to help them form friendships, gain practical experience, and become well-rounded individuals.

Getting the facts right…

• Provide your son or daughter with accurate information: 66% of students think drinking is not an important part of university (Canadian Campus Survey, 2004) - many students have exaggerated perceptions of alcohol use in colleges and universities.
• Inform your son or daughter of the risks and consequences of excessive alcohol consumption – discuss the laws regarding underage drinking and impaired driving
• Review campus website information on school alcohol policies, drinking in residence and disciplinary actions related to excessive alcohol consumption
• Find out if the institution has a “parent notification” policy and guidelines

Sharing experience and strategies

It is important to share information about your own experiences with alcohol. Be honest about both your good and bad experiences. If your son or daughter chooses to drink discuss the following strategies to help them develop responsible drinking habits.

• Set a limit of three drinks or less in one night.
• Set a limit of one drink per hour
• Never leave drinks unattended
• Alternate non-alcoholic drinks throughout the evening
• Plan to have a designated driver
• Be sure to eat before drinking
• Never drink the night before tests or exams

Talking effectively about alcohol….

It can be difficult to talk to your son or daughter about alcohol. Here are some useful tips to break the ice and set the foundation for future discussions about alcohol.

• Use non-confrontational and open ended questions about topics other than alcohol as conversation-starters – how are classes going, how is your workload/roommate/residence
• Be a good listener to help gain insight into your son or daughter’s feelings and concerns about drinking – it will make your son or daughter more receptive to your input
• Be a role model – set an example for what you expect from your son or daughter

Supporting others…

Talk to you son or daughter about being a responsible friend and adult

• Encourage them to intervene when their friends engage in risky drinking, unhealthy or problematic  behaviours
• Discuss ways to solve problems caused by other students’ drinking
  

      read How to help a friend article.

Student to parent

Below is advice from a university student to parents on how to help support your son or daughter during a transition into post – secondary school life.

(Source: www.news.wisc.edu/packages/drinking/parents.html)

Email

Email your son or daughter if they don’t always reply back. Most students are anxious for the security that family brings.

Ask questions

Student wants their parents to be interested in what they are doing. Parents’ questions can be alienating or supportive depending on the attitudes of people involved. Open and honest conversations are appreciated.

Don’t worry

The urge to communicate is always strongest when people are under stress and feeling frustrated. Students are adjusting to a new environment, more responsibility and increased workload – a stressed-out phone call is no need for concern.

Visit

Students appreciate visits from parents and enjoy the opportunity to introduce their new friends, activities and living environment.

Trust

Trust that your son or daughter will be responsible. Parents need to accept that a student’s time in college or university is about making their own choices, overcoming insecurities, handling disappointments and making the odd mistakes. These all play an important part of the growing-up process

The bottom line

This is an important period of time in a person’s life. Having open and honest conversations with your son or daughter about the many aspects of college and university, including alcohol, is instrumental for a successful shift to post-secondary life. Give them the support they need to adapt to the new environment, make healthy choices, act responsibly and get the most out of their post-secondary experience.

Brought to you by BACCHUS Canada, division of The Student Life Education Company. www.bacchusmembers.com